Verse

Like I said, I joined the gym a couple of weeks ago. For the first two
sessions, I was assigned a personal trainer - Verse. As it so happens,
this is the same personal trainer that handles Daniel. I have no problem
with Verse, actually he's much likeable as a trainer - he assists and tells
you what to do and what for. He gives one stretches when one's muscles are
sore. Stuff which are expected from him.

As usual, my problem is with Daniel. It seems Daniel developed a
crush-slash-infatuation on Verse. Last Friday, Daniel played a practical
joke on me. The joke went as if he asked Verse out to dinner last Thursday
and he got drunk. He supposedly held Verse's hand and kissed him.
Normally I would have easily detected the joke but given the circumstance,
and the fact that Daniel is under the influence of his medicines, I can not
be sure.

My reaction was kinda mixed that time. The foremost reaction was that of
irritation. This wouldn't be the first time that Daniel would have done
something careless and stupid when under the influence of the medicine. I
have learned to ignore such stunts but the implication of this current one
would have been more far reaching that those he previously made:

(a) Verse is married and has a kid. If there is one thing that is
consistent in me and relationships is that I always not to get involved
with people who are involved. Having a wife and a kid obviously falls
under this. Getting involved in such things affect and would eventually
destroy not only your own and the other person's life but also that of
others who are innocents.
(b) He is also my own Trainer and he knows that Daniel is a friend of
mine. If the incident did occur. It would be very awkward for me and
Verse.

My second reaction was more personal. It was one of jealousy and
self-depreciation. I always have to convince myself that I am simply in
love with Daniel and have no intentions of hooking up with him. However I
cannot help but compare my own attributes to those of whom he is attracted
to. It is a bad habit and one that I intend to stop. I know that I cannot
and must not change just to be liked by someone. I know that if I have to
change it is in order for me to feel better about myself.

Another thing I need to change is the fact that Daniel can easily have an
affect on me. That small joke was almost enough to shut me down. It took
me some effort to shrug it off and continue on. I have to develop that
ability to just shrug off whatever Daniel can throw at me.

Bottomline is, as much as I love Daniel and that he's my friend, he has his
own life. As long as his actions do not cause any interference in my own
life, he is free to do whatever he wants and accepts the consequences of
his own actions - by himself. I believe that that is the only way for him,
and for me, to learn.