Advice: Looking at the wrong places

I’m a 31-year-old male beyond ready to settle down. However, I have this dislike for gay men because I feel that our gay society is focused on sex, drugs, and the bar scene. The guys I meet are basically looking for one-nighters, which I’m not. I’ve experienced the bar scene, the Internet is just as bad as a bar, and I’ve tried personal ads only to find they are useless. How can I find someone who is interested in dating, a relationship, or courting without the search for quickies, drugs or going to the bar?


I think you’re putting too much pressure on yourself regarding finding a mate. My advice is to focus on yourself rather than using up your energy trying to do things that you really don’t want to do. If you’re meant to find someone he’ll eventually turn up. No use trying to stress yourself over it. Concentrate on things, which would improve your self. Make yourself interesting. Share what you can in your community and be a good friend. If Mr. Right does come along you’ll be ready for him.

Advice: Internet Sex

Recently I discovered that my boyfriend has been having a wild old time online with a man he met in a chat room. When I confronted him about it, he said the relationship has been confined to the Internet, so there isn’t any cause for jealousy. But I’m worried that the online relationship may turn into a physical one. What should I do?

First thing is to ask yourself regarding how you feel about the online relationship. If you have feelings against it then you should bring it up with your boyfriend. However, don’t take the stand of saying that it is wrong but favorably from the point of view showing how you feel about it. If you do believe, however, that the online relationship is not a problem, then you should not think more of incident. Allowing yourself to keep thinking about it could probably just make you see things that are really not there. It is much recommended that you on the now.

Book review: I'm Your man

Just finished reading the lastest book by one of my favorite gay authors: Timothy James Beck (Okay, TJB is actually four authors who group writes - I just wish my group could do that). Anyways, "I'm Your Man" is the latest installment of the TJB books. All three of the books ("It had to be you" and "He's the one" being the other two) are interconnected and each one deals with a certain relationship. The current one deals with Daniel Stephenson (an openly gay actor who plays a straight guy) and Blain Dunhill (a rather closeted ad exec). The books opens when the two break up and Blaine is approached by a female friend to have his baby. Being heartbroken and single Blaine thinks about it. Like always, this is just the start of a very funny and romantic story. Almost all of the characters are back and as usual, they give the book a great feel. I highly recommend reading this book (as well as the other two) coz it deals with not only gay issues but also of family, friends and life in general.

Latter Days - A Review

Huge festival and theatrical hit, Latter Days is the story of 19-year-old Elder Aaron Davis, a sexually confused Mormon missionary who moves into an apartment complex in West Hollywood with a fellow group of missionaries. There he meets a neighbor, Christian, who, on a bet, tries to seduce him. When Christian exposes Davis' secret desire, Davis rejects Christian for being shallow and empty. As each boy's reality is shattered, the two are drawn into a passionate romance that risks destroying their lives. Audiences, young and old and straight and gay, have been moved to tears by this beautiful story of the transformational power of love and family.
I gave copies of this DVD as gifts to all my gay friends who celebrated their birthdays this November. I got much of thanks from that. I also got memos ranging from "I cried while watching it" to "I felt like I was back in high school having a crush on the school's jock". I really couldn't blame them coz I, myself, felt that the movie was a good one. I guess, everyone empathizes or wants to empathize with what the two characters were going through. I have to admit, even if the Philippines' reaction to homosexuality is not as extreme as that of what the Mormons sect goes through, the same feeling of what Davis goes to be what he truly is an experience which most gay people go through. As for Christian - I guess, that's what true love feels - the yearning to be a better person for himself and the other person he loves. Basically, I'm a sap and am a sucker for romantic comedies but that doesn't stop Latter Days for being a good movie.